Spending the First Father’s Day Without Dad. 7 Tips On How to Survive.
If you’ve lost a parent it’s normal to feel apprehension and even dread as holidays like Father’s Day approach. That first Father’s Day without your dad can intensify your loss. If dad was a grounding force in your life you can feel untethered and isolated. You’re likely to feel unsure how to navigate a day that’s dedicated to celebrating someone no longer with you.
Tips For Your First Father’s Day Without Dad
There’s no magic way to make grieving on father’s day easy. But we hope sharing 5 tips on how to survive can help you feel empowered to find your way.
Feel Fully.
It’s OK to let yourself fully experience what you are feeling. Feelings of sadness, anger, wanting and pain are normal and expected. Don’t judge yourself or feel like you’re letting anyone down. Give yourself permission to feel the way you do. If you can sit with these feelings, acknowledge them and accept them, then you will have more power to be comfortable with these very human emotions.
Celebrate A Positive Male Role Model.
Celebrating another male role model in your life can bring you comfort and help you feel less untethered. Celebrating what someone else has meant to you can bring joy and remind you that love and support still surrounds you.
Focus On Happy Memories.
Memories are where your father can continue to live long after his passing. Memories of happier times remind us of the joy and love he had in his life. Memories can also help us process loss. Remembrance can help you refocus on gratitude for the time you had with him in your life. Gratitude is powerful. When you are able to look with gratitude on the wonderful memories of the past and the coming memories of tomorrow with others you love, you can begin to heal.
It can help to wear or carry something of his, or plan an outing to one of his favorite places. There are different things you can do to honor his memory and feel closer to him on this day, but only if you are feeling up to it.
Spend Time With Others.
Spending time with others who loved him can make you feel his presence. Ask others to share their favorite memories or stories of your dad. You may learn new things about your father’s life and gain new memories to hold close. Seeing what he meant to others can help you realize he is not really gone, he also lives in the hearts and minds of all of you.
Distract Yourself.
It’s OK to completely skip Father’s Day. When nothing else feels right, plan an activity to distract yourself. Plan something that will help occupy your mind and help you escape the day. Go out of town to explore someplace new, plan an adventure you have never done before, treat yourself to a staycation at a fancy hotel, pamper yourself. So much about Father’s Day can be a sensory overload – places, sounds, smells that trigger memories, and all those social media posts of happy family celebrations. If you are simply not ready to face Father’s Day, escaping somewhere new can help.
Approach Social Media With Caution
Many people choose to honor their dads by sharing memories on social media. But being online can feel like a lot on this day. Scrolling past friends and loved ones celebrating father’s day can be overwhelming. If you are not prepared to handle social media on this day, you can mute notifications, limit your screen time or choose to have an “offline” day. If you end up being away from your phone on this day, let your loved ones know ahead of time.
The First Father’s Day Without Dad Is Hard
Your first Father’s Day without your dad will not be easy. But it can feel empowering and then hopeful when you are able to navigate the day. We hope these suggestions help you find what peace and comfort you can. If you also lost your mom, then you may find our blog How To Survive Mother’s Day insightful. We also have insightful tips on how to handle grieving during the holidays. Remember that grief is a personal journey; allow yourself to travel at your own pace.
About Ascend
Ascend provides care and comfort to patients with life-limiting conditions. Reach out to the Ascend location nearest to you for information about our hospice services. We also help craft lasting memories of loved ones with our Life Review program, which can be a source of comfort later in life. We support families and caregivers with bereavement assistance after the death of a loved one.